Tag Archives: comparison

The Perils of Comparison, Part 1

– Other families are doing way better at this Advent thing than we are.
– The Christmas lights on our house are nothing compared to our neighbor’s.
– Why can’t my kid sleep as much as that one?

These are all thoughts I’ve had just this week, looking up to others and comparing myself to them. And on the other end, I’ve compared this way:

– Well, at least I’m not treating my husband like that person is.
– I would never let my house look like that.
– I’m glad I’m not racist like this person.

Whether I see myself as superior or inferior to someone else, it seems that I just can’t get away from comparing. In a short book called Compared to Her, Sophie de Witt explains:

“We’re a constant mixture of despair, envy, and bitterness; and pride, superiority, and entitlement… Each day, we look up and look down, and feel anxious and self-sufficient, guilty and proud, despairing and smug. What we don’t feel, at least not for any length of time, is the sense of significance, satisfaction or security that we’re searching for as we compare ourselves to others. [Comparison] promises much…but it delivers nothing, or worse than nothing.”