When a Child's Best Interests Become 'Expendable'

As a believer, I always want to have hope that two people - particularly Christians - can work out their differences in the wake of a divorce and get along with each other, assuming both parties are willing to do so. Sadly, what I find most often is that one party is seeking to live faithfully while the other (regardless of what he or she might say) very obviously does not give a rip about what the Word of God says, let alone the laws of the State of Missouri.

What I will share below should not be misconstrued to say that all divorced couples must necessarily have conflict; it is merely my attempt at a Christian response to the fallen nature of our souls and the all-too-common behaviors that we see in shattered families everywhere. More than that, I pray, it represents a call to personal holiness in the most unholy of circumstances.

Just last week, I was called upon once again to have That Dreaded Conversation with yet another divorced parent being emotionally tortured by the manipulations, schemes and God-dishonoring behavior being forced upon one's own child all for the sake of "getting revenge on an ex-spouse." It never ceases to amaze me how horribly people can behave - even those who claim to be Christians - when it comes to what is euphemistically called "co-parenting." And I am sorrowful beyond words at some of the ways in which I myself have contributed to this huge societal problem.

In theory, the idea of co-parenting sounds like a good one. Though divorced, the biological parents of a young child agree to regularly consult with each other on matters pertinent to the schooling, health, well-being and safety of the human beings that they have together brought into this world. As a previously-divorced parent myself, I have been forced to sit through court-mandated "training videos" wherein actors portray some level of post-divorce interpersonal conflict in Segment One, only to somehow "come to their senses" and see the value of cooperating with each other by the time we arrive at the end of Segment Two. While I realize that the producers of these videos mean well, I have yet to see any co-parenting arrangement consistently work out this way in real life.

A couple who divorce without having had any children (biological, adopted or otherwise) have a decent shot at going their separate ways forever. Divorced parents, however, get to deal with each other for the rest of their lives. And this remains true even after their kids have grown! (Think weddings, births of grandchildren, graduations, anniversaries, grandchildren's birthdays, etc. etc. etc.) It is the height of mythical thinking to believe that two people who couldn't get along or work things out while they were married will somehow - post-divorce - set aside their differences and successfully cooperate with each other simply because they have a child. We want to believe that those of us who claim to have a relationship with Christ will in fact be able to consistently cooperate with our ex-spouse in the interest of our children, but that's very often not true.

So the question comes up rather often: "How do I, as a Christian, raise my children in the midst of this sort of never-ending conflict?" At this point, I should probably disclose that I have personally lived through an extremely antagonistic "co-parenting" relationship, and I can attest to the truth of every piece of advice that follows not because I have watched the "KidCare" segment of the DivorceCare curriculum at least ten times, but because I made every single mistake that I could have made in the wake of the end of my first marriage. Yes, I saw the videos. Yes, I've read plenty of books. The information I list below sticks with me, though, primarily because it is blood-bought.

So, with apologies for this rather grim subject matter, I'd like to humbly offer up a list of Things I Wish I Knew back in the late 1990's, before I put much stock in Christian parenting or had any desire to own my part in the death of my first marriage. Much of what you read below is lifted directly from both the DivorceCare curriculum and what I have seen play out in my own life and the lives of dozens of others.

1. Take full ownership for the part you played in bringing chaos into the life of your child. Even if most rational folks would quickly give your ex the lion's share of credit for the destruction of your marriage, anyone who claims to be 100% blameless is kidding themselves. As author Lou Priolo has so well said, "Even if you were only responsible for 2% of the problems in your failed marriage, you need to take 100% responsibility for that 2%." To that, I would simply add that acknowledging your failures to God and at least one other trustworthy Christian can help free you to forgive yourself and move forward. (I often encourage divorced folks to write out long, extremely-detailed letters of apology to their exes as well. But be careful! The exercise is primarily designed to help you acknowledge specific sins and reconcile with God; it is often not appropriate to deliver those letters, particularly when the divorce is still recent.)
2. Seek to live out God-honoring biblical singleness; endeavor to live your post-divorce life above reproach. Most divorced people love to talk at length about the ways in which their ex is dishonoring God and violating the visitation agreement, but they are typically less forthcoming with details about how they are doing the exact same thing! Allow other Christians to speak bluntly into your life, without fear of your anger. Seek God in all circumstances, especially those that are very obviously unfair. Most importantly, live out a biblical approach to sexuality. Parents who engage in bed-hopping should not be the least bit surprised to find that they have zero credibility with their adolescent children as they too begin to push the boundaries of what is deemed "acceptable" by their parents.
3. Do not be drawn into conflict with your ex if it can easily be avoided. The book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom on how to deal with enemies and "fools." One of the more memorable verses simply states that to enter into a conversation with a fool is itself folly; the battle is lost at once. (Proverbs 9:6-8; 26:4; 29:9) Make note of the ways in which your ex has learned to "play you" simply by having lived with you for any number of years. For many newly-divorced parents, a consistent opportunity for volatile interactions is at Exchange Time, that tension-filled moment when the child goes from being in the custody of one parent to the other. One practical tip that I have found to be very beneficial is to take a trustworthy Christian brother or sister along with you to drop off or pick up the kids. Having a disinterested - but fearless and faithful! - third party will primarily serve as a means of keeping you in check; it will often do much the same for the ex, though not always. Allow the third party to make observations about the way in which you conducted yourself at Exchange Time.
4. Decide at the outset not to over-compensate for your failed marriage by allowing any child to have too much control and/or providing too little discipline. Children need boundaries and inflexible guidelines. They must learn to accept a parent's firm-but-loving "No." If, as so often happens, a child is able to "read" the parenting styles of both Mom and Dad, that child will be tempted to leverage the weaknesses of both to maximum effect, i.e. "play one against the other." Kids do this in intact marriages, how much more so in the wake of divorce! So the temptation is huge to "spoil" your kids in the wake of divorce; for your child's own good, do not give in to it. If you hand the reins of life over to an eight-year-old, you should prepare yourself for at least ten more years of that child asserting that power selfishly and inappropriately.
5. Do not attempt in any way to "control" your ex-spouse's environment. This is one of the more difficult realities of divorce involving children; unless your ex - or your ex's new love interest - is doing something that is demonstrably dangerous to the health and well-being of the child - think "meth lab in the basement" kind of dangerous - you need to accept the reality that you have zero control over what your ex does with his or her life. In fact, you may find that calling poor parenting and ungodly behavior to your ex's attention only makes it worse. By expressing moral outrage that your ten-year-old is allowed at your former spouse's house to stay up until midnight sending text messages - with the cell phone that you don't think he should have in the first place - you have effectively exposed an "emotional sore spot" and should not be surprised to find that what was once allowed on weekends has now become an everyday occurrence. Rather than focusing on the rollercoaster of life at the other house, focus instead on providing stability and consistency in your own home. Over the long haul, by God's grace, children will someday be able to look back and see the differences in how the two houses were run.
6. You must accept that your ex is no longer your ally. This is by far the single hardest reality for divorced couples to accept. Divorced men and women continue (even in antagonistic divorces) to treat each other like "de facto spouses," helping each other out with various hardships "for the good of the kids." Please believe me when I say that confusion is never in the best interest of the kids. If there is no hope for reconciliation, then both parties should maintain appropriate/civil boundaries. The most common mistake? Spending holidays and/or birthdays together. Doing so only reinforces the mythical thinking already present in the child, anyway: "Maybe someday soon Mommy and Daddy will be married again."
7. Keep up your end of the deal. Even if your ex is not abiding by the terms of your divorce decree, you should seek to be "blameless" for the way in which you show honor to the authorities of the court of this state (Romans 13:1-7). Again, though perhaps in the far-off future, your child will one day compare and contrast the ways in which his or her parents conducted themselves after the marriage fell apart. This is where trusting God becomes so critical to the Christian; we have to live honorably (even - or especially - in the face of unfairness and outrage) with the full expectation that the Lord will judge between us (1 Samuel 24:15). Behaving honorably is not first and foremost about providing your kids with ultimate hope in the midst of turmoil. It is about that, to be sure, but it is primarily about believing God and being obedient to Him.
8. Never speak disparagingly about your former spouse to your children. Even if your ex-spouse is consistently bashing you to the kids when they are with him or her, your response cannot be to do the same. As you seek to destroy your former spouse's credibility, you also end up destroying your own. This situation puts the children in the middle and makes them feel as if they now need to judge between and side with one of two people they love. No matter how much you are maligned, it is not fair to put your child in the middle. Do your best, when directly confronted with evidence that this is happening - for example, if your child tells you that Mommy told him you ran out on her - to answer your child's question without tearing down your spouse. Unemotional, factual and short statements are the place to go, such as "I'm sorry you had to hear that." Again, living above reproach and not engaging in ungodly behavior, however tempting, will bring more healing to your child than defending yourself by attacking your ex.
9. Do not use your children as messengers, couriers or spies. You are the adult in the situation, and you need to communicate directly with the other adult at all times. If your attempts at communication usually end up in an argument, find another way of communicating that takes the emotion out of it. E-mail can be a useful tool if tensions are high; it gives you the opportunity to write a note, then walk away and delay sending it until you can read it with less emotion later on. Even better, ask a friend to proofread your communications to help you identify (and edit out) any remotely-inflammatory comments. Do whatever you can to minimize opportunities for conflict while still keeping communication direct. Giving your children checks or messages to deliver to their other parent may seem like a good option that keeps you two from arguing, but it puts the kids in the middle, as does asking your kids multiple questions about what they did, where they went and who they did it with when they return to you after spending time with their other parent.
10. Go deep with God and His church. Do not attempt to do it all on your own! You will burn out in no time. Gather other faithful believers around you, and use the now-empty spaces in your weekly schedule to go deep into Bible study and prayer. God will meet you in your loneliness, and your frustration. What you want first and foremost is to be at peace with God, not your ex (or even your children). You will know that you have traveled several miles with Jesus when you find that you can obey Him and pray for those that persecute you...and really mean it.

Some books and resources that we have found invaluable in the struggle:

• Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
• Fool-Proofing Your Life by Jan Silvious
• The Power of Words and the Wonder of God: Desiring God 2008 National Conference
• Trusting God by Jerry Bridges
• War of Words by Paul David Tripp

We Need a Hero

One of the most discussed details emerging from the horrible tragedy in Aurora is the acts of heroism displayed by a few young men. There is consistent and reliable information to corroborate three distinct examples of men acting as human shields for women in close proximity. Of course we don’t know for certain if these stories of ultimate sacrifice are completely accurate. There is plenty of historical precedence for sensationalism in the midst of tragedy. In situations like this we earnestly seek decency and humanity in contrast to such senseless evil and disregard for others.

My point in this blog is not to argue for or against the validity of such stories. I have no tangible reason to doubt they are true. My point is to simply examine our almost insatiable appetite for a hero, as revealed by our fascination with stories like these. It should not be lost on us those unsuspecting people in that theater waited in line at midnight to be one of the first to see a movie about what? Their favorite hero.

It is reasonable to assume such a universal desire comes from a universal source. Some may argue we are creatures of convention and our environment shapes our desires. At the very least, we can assume there are intrinsic building blocks in human nature which reveal symmetry in our definition of heroism. It may be impossible to confirm the source of such consistency, but ideals that permeate age, race, gender, geography and time have historically been considered innately human.

Given humanity’s tendency to hold in high regard the qualities of a hero (such as self sacrifice, strength, valor, etc.) we should not be surprised when we experience deep emotional responses to examples of heroism as it seems to touch a part of our souls that unites us with hope that there is something worth fighting for, something triumphantly good. CS Lewis felt this longing for such qualities to be nothing short of confirmation of the truth of the gospel. Consider this explanation from Lewis when asked about his impression of mythology;

“Dyson and Tolkien showed me...that if I met the idea of sacrifice in a Pagan story I didn’t mind it at all...I liked it very much and was mysteriously moved by it...I was prepared to feel the myth as profound and suggestive of meanings beyond my grasp tho’ I could not say in cold prose ‘what it meant.’ Now the story of Christ is simply a true myth...the Pagan stories are God expressing Himself through the minds of poets...while Christianity is God expressing Himself through what we call ‘real things’”. 

Obviously, literary mythology is not as mainstream as it once was. It is more appropriate to consider movies as the medium of modern day mythology and poetry. We have an all too real manifestation of the spectrum of the deeper longings of humanity within the tragic event in Aurora. The backdrop is a film where a director has put forth prose of a modern story about sacrifice, salvation, resurrection and redemption. There were at least three women who experienced the grace of the ultimate sacrifice in a life given up for theirs. The men who gave up their lives obviously had but a moment to instinctually fulfill a role they undoubtedly pondered in the past; “could I give my life up for another?”. In, around and through this terrible event is the evidence of our longings. To tell the story of a hero, to be saved by a hero, to fulfill the role of hero. CS Lewis would say those longings are only satisfied in the one true hero.

Joe Haslag: Seeing The Lord's Supper Differently Now

Dr. Joseph Haslag, Economics professor at the University of Missouri, is a somewhat-new member of The Crossing. He and I were talking recently about how his views have changed regarding Communion (the Lord's Supper) since gaining a better understanding and belief in the gospel. I thought his insightful comments were worth sharing with others, so I asked him to write them down.

With his permission, the following are Joe's comments:

One of the most transforming things in my life is my evolving understanding of how big God is. One of the important aspects of this understanding is transubstantiation.

By now, you can probably deduce that I was brought up in the Roman Catholic tradition. For Roman Catholics, transubstantiation is the doctrine that, although appearing in the form of bread and wine, communion is actually the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. I thought deeply about this and held onto this belief as central to my faith. Until recently, this belief kept me from participating in the Lord’s Supper anywhere but in a Roman Catholic Mass.

Why did I think that transubstantiation was so important? The answer is tied to a distant God; a small God existing in a place far away. I accepted this view because I understood that my salvation was earned by my actions. God had done everything He could by sending his Son to die for my sins, but I had to behave well enough to enter into His Kingdom. Consistent with a self-salvation premise, transubstantiation was really valuable. It meant that Christ was coming closer and that I could take Him in at the Lord’s Supper. What a wondrous feeling. My need for a close relationship was at least temporarily satisfied at Mass. Hence, I clung to this view of the Lord’s Supper because it satisfied my deepest need.

Little did I realize that the God of the Bible was not so small. I had to spend time reading Scripture and unpacking it to see just how big He is. With each bit of knowledge that I gained about Him, my relationship was growing. The critical understanding was realizing that I had a personal relationship with the Creator of the universe. The One who could speak such a big universe into existence ex nihilo was clearly big enough to be with me at every instant. I no longer needed transubstantiation to cover this longing for relationship. Indeed, He loved me so much that He wanted that closeness all the time. His Grace was offered freely to me at infinite cost to Himself on the Cross. Once I understood this Big God and His Grace, the notion of transubstantiation was obviously too small; He is there constantly.

Know that this does not diminish the value of the Lord’s Supper to me in any way. How could such a remembrance of Christ's Pascal sacrifice and His restoration of the earth ever be a little thing? Rather, the Lord’s Supper is a special part of a relationship that grows deeper every day because it is close, because He loves me so much, and because I long for a deeper knowledge of God. He is infinitely big and I want to spend my days knowing Him better.

The Dark Knight Rises

I’ve been a fan of Batman for literally as long as I can remember, so it doesn’t exactly take arm twisting for me to opine a bit about the climactic chapter of director Christopher Nolan’s Bat-trilogy, The Dark Night Rises. 

The long and the short of it: Rises satisfied my own considerable expectations. In fact, I’d be willing to say I enjoyed the finale more than the previous two installments in the series. 

(Warning: spoilers ahead.)

To be sure, not everyone will walk away feeling the same. I suspect that more than a few fans and critics will judge 2008’s The Dark Night as the superior film, a position that isn’t without merit. But then again, I’m someone who doesn’t necessarily mind when a superhero film portrays its protagonist as, well, unabashedly heroic.

That’s not to say that Nolan succumbs to wooden or adolescent storytelling. He aims for the same edge and complexity demonstrated in the first two films—attributes that help to differentiate his work from much of the genre. When we first meet Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne in this film, he’s physically and emotionally broken and withdrawn, unable to move past previous tragedy and embrace a life in which his alter ego may no longer be needed.

However, in the face of a new, extraordinary threat from the uber-terrorist Bane (Thomas Hardy), he rouses himself to once again don the cowl. But it’s only after a brutal defeat at Bane’s hands that the Dark Knight indeed rises, both literally and symbolically. 

As I think I’ve mentioned before, Christians can be overambitious at times in finding Christ figures in movies. The redemptive correspondence that often is in films is—usually quite appropriately—much more limited in scope. But in this case, the viewer might be forgiven for thinking Nolan has trafficked heavily in the Christian story. After all, his hero is seemingly broken by evil and afterward lowered into a genuine pit of a prison (one described as “hell on earth,” no less). And yet this place proves to be the site of a—dare I say it—resurrection of sorts. Bruce/Batman is reforged in his confinement and escapes what Bane had intended to be his grave, intent on bringing the fight to the terrorist once again.  

Batman’s return, not surprisingly, means Gotham’s liberation. He frees the city’s captive cops, inspires the heretofore morally suspect Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) to join his cause, and personally defeats Bane. The plot then twists as Batman is betrayed in the moment of victory by a woman who turns out the daughter of his former mentor turned foe, Ra’s al Ghul. But this ultimately instigates a final act of heroism: he appears to sacrifice himself for the sake of millions, perishing in the blast of a massively destructive bomb he’s raced to tow out to sea. I found myself mentally cheering throughout. 

In the process of all this, Batman the redeemer also becomes Batman redeemed.  Having survived his ordeal, Bruce Wayne takes the earnest appeal of a man he’d previously alienated to heart, seemingly content to begin his life again in anonymity and without the driven necessity of his alter ego, even paving the way for another to take up his legacy.   

All of this has proven too much for some. I’ve seen mention that the film’s conclusion is too tidy, reflecting more of “happily ever after” than the shadows in which Batman often operates. I can’t help but wonder, however, if this is born of a mindset that is both overly preoccupied with the portrayal of moral shades of gray and almost reflexively distrustful of that which might appeal to a large swath of moviegoers. Don’t get me wrong. Massive box office receipts don't equate to cinematic excellence and moral complexity is often appropriate (and, in any case, not lacking here). But the need for nuance in such things need not preclude a robust, if still imperfect good triumphing over genuine evil. Similarly, if recognizably positive character development is off the table, then our dramatic options  become severely limited indeed. 

The film isn’t flawless: for example, a few plot points are either unexplained or call for a bit more suspension of disbelief than I’d prefer. At the same time, it certainly contains other features worthy of mention. This includes at least one respect where Nolan did depart somewhat from the conventional: he (quite deliberately) made it very difficult to imagine another Batman film in continuity with what he's done. To “end” a story in one medium that has existed for decades in another involves resisting no small temptation. And as much as I’d readily embrace more chapters in Nolan’s universe, the trilogy’s finality adds to its strength as a whole. I’ll look forward to the future iterations of Batman that will certainly come from other filmmakers. But the bar is no doubt higher now.

Power and Mercy to Free the Enslaved Heart

Praise the Lord, all nations! Extol him, all peoples! For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord! (Psalm 117)

It seemed only fitting to open my post this week with some strong words of praise to the Lord. In His unfathomable grace and mercy, Jesus Christ set me free from a stronghold of darkness - in my case, alcohol and drug abuse - exactly 15 years ago today. On July 23, 1997, I was on an eastbound flight from San Francisco to Kansas City. It was during those few hours of flight time that I finally admitted to God the depth of my helplessness as well as the extent of my decades-long depravity. Though I did not specifically call on the name of Jesus at that time, my heart cry of desperation to God was entirely sincere, and He in turn was faithful to set my life on a course that would lead me into truth, the only Truth (John 14:6) that would be sufficiently powerful to save me and - significantly - keep me from falling away.

For the alcoholic, there is every manner of treatment available today with which to combat the compulsion to drink to excess. Since all truth is God's truth, I praise Him for making relief from alcohol addiction available even to the many millions who will never claim a personal relationship with Christ. Success rates for various forms of treatment rise and fall, of course, based on any number of contributing factors. Ultimately - for me, personally - the reason that none of the "more well-known" methods for drying out had worked was that I could see no ultimate purpose beyond mere sobriety, no superintending reason for pursuing the societal good of not drinking myself to death. "Life is hard," I reasoned, and therefore not really a motivator for me to make choices that would enable me to go on living to 80 years old, as opposed to 35 or 40. What difference did it really make if I recovered or if, as my doctor had repeatedly warned, I died within a few years?

What I came to see is that only God is truly big enough to satisfy the innermost desires of my heart.

Only eternity and the promises of abundant life offered by Jesus were ever glorious enough to allow me to set aside the bottle and consider the scandalous offer being made by God to me through a relationship with His Son. So it was in a prayerful spirit of "cooperating with God" - Whoever He was - that I agreed to worship Him each and every day by not partaking of alcohol or illicit drugs. My thought at the time, as embarrassing as this is to admit, was simply that I wanted to "give God room" to work in my life, to help me see some evidence of the eternal Kingdom that I had heard about as a young man, if it did indeed exist.

Failing that, I could always go back to drinking myself to death, right? "Sure, just pick right up where you left off!" However...

In the intervening 15 years, God has not ceased to lavish grace upon grace in my life. Many of the lessons I would learn were only able to penetrate the hardness of my heart through the introduction of suffering and pain, both physical and emotional. Much to my chagrin, there was no "Hollywood-style ending" to my conversion to Christ, as if I might have just got off the plane that day in Kansas City and all of my problems simply melted away. Quite the opposite. In fact, the date of my conversion was the beginning of some of the most gut-wrenching, painful and grueling episodes through which I have lived. Far from trotting down a flower-strewn yellow brick road to Jesus, my 15 years of faith has resembled something more like being scraped over hot asphalt strewn with shards of broken glass. Strange as this may sound, it has all been more than worth it.

Today, I spend a fair amount of time around other guys who are seeking to throw off some form of besetting sin, whether it be alcohol, drugs, pornography, the abuse of others or some other form of destructive, ungodly behavior. The past 15 years of sobriety have highlighted for me a few simple truths that I have clung to, through the best of days and the darkest of setbacks. I offer them up in the hope that others may be emboldened to invoke the name of Jesus Christ as Lord and in that moment find the lasting escape from enslavement to darkness and the machinations of the evil one.

1. You must be ready to die. Staple Galatians 2:20 to your soul. The biggest obstacle to throwing off ungodly behavior is the false - but wickedly persistent - belief that we "have everything under control." We have nothing under control, most obviously our own lives. As long as the addict is able to think they can "manage and manipulate" people and events to keep the natural consequences of their sinful behaviors at bay, the cycle will continue along until the person has lost everything, life included. As just one example, I liked to tell myself the lie that because my body had become so addicted to alcohol, I would have to "wean myself from it" over a period of weeks and months. Can you guess how well this "I am in control" strategy worked? There was never a period of "week and months" whereby I, under my own steam, could reach the goal. It was only after I prayed to God and said, "OK, I am ready to die if that is Your will" that I was finally able to break free...and live. (And live life abundantly, by the way...)
2. Cultivate a heart of gratitude. I don't care who you are or what your circumstances might be; if you are still breathing, I could easily point to several things for which you can be sincerely grateful. Gratitude is the strongest-possible antidote to the twin toxins of entitlement and fear, both of which play a huge role in initiating the addictive response of "hiding" and "self-soothing." A heart that is awash in gratitude is a deadly environment to so many of the "spiritual weeds" that tend to spring up in the unguarded ground of the human heart.
3. It's not about you. Never has been, never will be. This truth has been especially hard for a proud person such as myself to embrace, and yet it is thoroughly biblical. The Big Story is all about God and what He has done, is doing and will continue to do. When we elevate ourselves to the center of our attention, we are bound to be disappointed by the vicissitudes of life this side of Heaven. Only by placing God at the center of our lives do we find true meaning, and (paradoxically) only then are we freed up to more fully live as the individuals we were meant to be.
4. You won't do it alone; "Lone Rangers" are easy targets for the enemies of your soul. First and foremost, you must have God to help make sense of your life. No one else will be able to put the pieces back together for you in a manner that allows you to harmonize all the events of life toward loving God and serving others. You will also need a close cadre of friends, preferably people who are far more mature in their faith and their willingness to suffer through all of your complaints, objections and backsliding. If you don't have a group of faithful friends, get one. Start by attending church every week, being diligent about your weekly recovery meetings and so forth. (Asking God to provide some of His people to help you makes for a great prayer!)
5. Make prayer and confession regular features of your daily life. During the early stages of recovery, it can be tempting to wave off various attempts to help you get by, typically borne out of the very same pride that got you into your sinful predicament to begin with! Accept the help of others. Confess your shortcomings to God and to other people. Commit the rest of your life to being entirely transparent and truthful. Allow other people to say hard things to you, "penalty-free."

I realize that none of what I have shared above is "new." You can probably find nearly all of what I have written on recovery brochures and fliers of various types. While I'd prefer to honor God's faithfulness to me by imparting some "clever new piece of information" that will help others turn the key in the ignition of their recovery, all I have to offer is the testimony of my own life, a clear account of how God can bless even the most pathetic and desperate of confessions, and the follow-up insight of observing the differences between men who succeed in their recovery - and are visibly transformed - and those who are tragically double-minded and still enslaved. The guys I have met who are most stable in their recovery (and most at peace) are those who began by accepting the immediate need for "the sinful old man" to die. Period.

Doxology
Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him, all creatures here below!
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host!
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
Amen.

Select books that were foundational to my recovery from alcoholism:

• The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren
• Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave by Ed Welch
• Future Grace by John Piper
• Not the Way It's Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin by Cornelius Plantinga Jr.

Songs and Scenes from July 22, 2012

This week's Songs and Scenes review features photos graciously provided by Scott Myers. You'll find links in the song titles to help you purchase recorded versions of the songs when available.

Gathering Song: Wandering Soul by David A. Cover and Christine Cover

There’s nothing I can do to take away the shame that I feel.
There’s nothing I can do to shed the burdens carried with me.
I’m a sinner with a wand’ring soul.

But I felt the weight lift off of me when I heard a Voice call out to me,
“It is done. It is finished. I AM what you have been seeking.”

Our Call to Worship was from Psalm 150.

Praise the Lord!
 Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens!
Praise him for his mighty deeds;
praise him according to his excellent greatness!

Praise him with trumpet sound;
praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with tambourine and dance:
praise him with strings and pipe!

Praise him with sounding cymbals;
praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!

Worthy (You Are Worthy) by Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin

Worthy, you are worthy
much more worthy than I know.
I cannot imagine just how glorious You are.
And I cannot begin to tell
how deep a love You bring.
Oh Lord, my ears have heard of You
and now my eyes have seen.

All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name - Words by Edward Perronet (1780), Contemporary chorus by Judah Groveman, Arranged by The Crossing Music

All hail the power of Jesus’ Name!
Let angels prostrate fall;
Bring forth the royal diadem,
and crown Him Lord of all.
Bring forth the royal diadem,
and crown Him Lord of all.

David read from Isaiah 26:3-5 and led us into a time of silent confession.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal. He humbles those who dwell on high, he lays the lofty city low; 
he levels it to the ground
and casts it down to the dust.

Prayer of the Lowly by Andrew Camp, Christine Cover and David A. Cover

Break my pride to pieces and scatter it to the wind.
And put in me humility to rest in Your ways.
For You, help live to You, help say,
"Holy, holy is the Lord, God Almighty;
Worthy, worthy is the King who died for me!”

We heard words of encouragement from Galations 6:14 and Romans 6:4-6.

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ…

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.

Christ is Risen by Matt Maher and Mia Fieldes

Let no one caught in sin remain
inside the lie of inward shame,
but fix our eyes upon the cross,
and run to Him who showed great love
and bled for us, freely You've bled for us.

Christ is risen from the dead
trampling over death by death.
Come awake, come awake,
come and rise up from the grave.

The Revelation of Jesus Christ by Cam Huxford, Arranged by Ghost Ship

And he who is seated on the throne,
said “I am making all things new.”
He said “It is finished, hear these words,
they are trustworthy and true.”
He is the Alpha and the Omega,
the beginning and the end.
And to the thirsty he will give water,
from a river with no end.

Wipe away every tear from our eyes.
Death will be no more.

Satisfied - Words: Clara T. Williams (1875), Music: Karl Digerness (1997), Arrangement: The Crossing Music

Well of water, ever springing,
Bread of life so rich and free,
untold wealth that never faileth,
my Redeemer is to me.

Hallelujah! He has found me,
the One my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my longings,
through his blood I now am saved.

Music and Tech Team for July 22, 2012:

Andrew Camp - acoustic guitar, electric guitar, floor toms, vocals
Christine Cover - vocals, floor tom
David Cover - resophonic guitar, banjo, acoustic guitar
Ashley Gross - vocals
Nick Havens - bass
Andrew Luley - drums

Kameron Bong - tech assistant
Mike Conant - sermon media
Ken Kroll - light board operator
Scott Myers - photos
Gerik Parmele - media director, camera operator
Jamie Stephens - music media
Jake Wandel - production manager
Tim Worstell - front of house audio

A Time to Weep, A Time to Mourn

Last night, while many of us were sleeping, a deeply-disturbed young man entered a midnight showing of the latest Batman movie in Aurora, Co., and began firing his guns into the crowd, taking at least a dozen lives and seriously injuring many others. Both the President and Mitt Romney quickly offered their condolences and used the term "evil" to describe this latest in a long line of deadly rampages.


My husband Warren and I are on vacation, visiting family in Michigan. I woke up to find one of our family members, Heidi, just finishing her morning meditation of Psalm 118, select verses of which had been lifting her up as she meditated upon them. Immediately after reading Psalm 118, she opened her computer only to be met with the headlines about this latest shooting.

So, for the better part of an hour, our prayers and discussion centered around the apparent cognitive dissonance that rises out of what we see all around us and what God's Word says.

For example, how can it really be true that "the right hand of the Lord does valiantly" when we can so clearly see evil all around us? (Psalm 118:15-16) How can this day, which the Lord has made, cause us to rejoice and be glad in it (v. 24) when it begins with news of terror and destruction of human life?

We could go all the way back to Genesis and talk about how God created a perfect world for us, created us in His very image, and then gave us the ability to choose for ourselves whether we would obey Him (Genesis 1-2). We all know Adam and Eve willfully chose rebellion over obedience (Genesis 3:1-7), and sin - thoughtless, willful, unconscionable sin - has been staining our world, twisting our desires and wreaking havoc in our relationships ever since.

While deeply sorrowful whenever this kind of horrific event happens, we should never be surprised that we humans are capable of great evil. What should surprise us, if we rightly understood the depths of the rebellion within every human heart, is how often common grace protects us from horrors like this happening far more often. That unbelievers have an innate sense of right and wrong, and live their lives following those innate morals - despite a rejection of the One who defines right and wrong - is God's gift of grace sustaining this world.

The Book of Habakkuk tells us of a prophet who comes to understand that God very often works His plan out in ways that, if we were to glimpse His methods, might well horrify us (Habakkuk 1:1-11). That we finite beings cannot possibly begin to understand His ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) or how He might be able to use even horrific evil for the good of those whom He loves and has called to Him (Romans 8:28) does not mean that it can't be true.

If we had the audacity to cry out to God, "Why do you allow such horrors to happen if you are such a loving God?" we could easily find ourselves in Job's shoes. When Job questioned God's goodness following the tragic, sorrowful events in his life - grief that included the loss of all his children's lives, all his wealth and finally, his own health - God responded by asking him a few questions of His own, pointing out that maybe Job did not, nor could not possibly, have the full story of God's plan for the world (Job 38-41).

For me, the only source of hope I have when I start out my day with such appalling news of pain and terror is to focus on eternity. This life, right now, is filled with seasons for all of us that seem hard and long, and are sometimes overflowing with pain. From a temporal perspective, this life can often fall far short of the events we think of when God's Word calls us to "rejoice and be glad" in it. But in those moments, I remind myself that this life is but a breath, a mist, and it will all be gone in a moment when looked back on from the joy-filled perspective of eternity. One day, Christ Himself will wipe away every tear that has fallen today in Aurora, Co., from the eyes of His faithful.

And so, for now, I think the only thing for us to do right now is to weep with those who weep. This, rather than searching for answers or questioning our Maker, may be the most faithful thing we can do, and our best way to comfort those who have lost so much. Stop speaking. Stop trying to explain. Simply weep.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. 

Psalm 118
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    for his steadfast love endures forever!
Let Israel say,
    “His steadfast love endures forever.”
Let the house of Aaron say,
    “His steadfast love endures forever.”
Let those who fear the Lord say,
    “His steadfast love endures forever.”
Out of my distress I called on the Lord;
    the Lord answered me and set me free.
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
    What can man do to me?
The Lord is on my side as my helper;
    I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
     than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
     than to trust in princes.
All nations surrounded me;
    in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side;
    in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
They surrounded me like bees;
    they went out like a fire among thorns;
    in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
I was pushed hard,[a] so that I was falling,
    but the Lord helped me.
The Lord is my strength and my song;
     he has become my salvation.
Glad songs of salvation
    are in the tents of the righteous:
“The right hand of the Lord does valiantly,
the right hand of the Lord exalts,
    the right hand of the Lord does valiantly!”
I shall not die, but I shall live,
    and recount the deeds of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
    but he has not given me over to death.
Open to me the gates of righteousness,
    that I may enter through them
    and give thanks to the Lord.
This is the gate of the Lord;
     the righteous shall enter through it.
I thank you that you have answered me
     and have become my salvation.
The stone that the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone.[b]
This is the Lord's doing;
    it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Save us, we pray, O Lord!
    O Lord, we pray, give us success!
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!
    We bless you from the house of the Lord.
The Lord is God,
    and he has made his light to shine upon us.
Bind the festal sacrifice with cords,
    up to the horns of the altar!
You are my God, and I will give thanks to you;
    you are my God; I will extol you.
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    for his steadfast love endures forever!

Positive Update from Sunday

As many of you experienced or have subsequently heard about, we had a bit more excitement last Sunday during the second service than usual: Crossing member Gary Long collapsed during Shay’s sermon, prompting several medical professionals in attendance to provide timely treatment before he was eventually taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Thankfully, we’re able to pass along a positive update. Shay was able to visit Gary yesterday and reports that he’s doing well and is set to come home soon. Along with expressing thanks toward all those involved, Gary also demonstrated his sense of humor remains intact, quipping that he had done his part to get applause going during the sermon. 

Looking back on the situation, there is certainly much for which we can be thankful. Gary was in a place where there were a number of trained medical personnel already present. They in turn acted swiftly to give him the needed emergency assistance. In addition, everyone in the congregation remained calm and supportive during a tense time. I suspect the corporate prayer Shay led wasn’t the only one lifted up on Gary’s behalf.  

Ultimately of course, God was merciful toward Gary and The Crossing, even to the point of providing a few reminders that we all can use:

1. Death, or in this case its shadow, far from being a “part of life” as is so often said, is a foreign intruder in God’s good creation.  It was not meant to be, but came only as the tragic result of sin. That’s why we as human beings are rightly sobered and grieved in its presence. To the point: Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus, despite the fact that he was about to restore his friend to life.

2. Of course, the gospel gives us hope even in the face of this stark reality.  Jesus has conquered sin and death: “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die” (John 11:25-26). Therefore, Paul can say that followers of Christ don’t “grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13). Instead, he issues this ringing affirmation: “‘Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:54-57).

3. Finally, our days are in the Lord’s hands, and we need to think and live accordingly. Here, as in everything else, God is the Sovereign King. 

The Very Simplest of Prayers: 'Shall I Go Up?'

As I have slowly begun the process of surrendering large areas of my life to Christ's control, living among and ministering alongside believers far more faithful than myself, it has been my observation that God is well pleased to do the vast majority of His work through the agency of individual believers who are prepared to surrender absolutely everything to Him at a moment's notice.

The most powerful people I know wake up every morning and immediately acknowledge that without God working in them and through them, they are nothing, they have nothing and they can do nothing (John 15:5). At the most basic level, even the ability to wake up and put two feet on the floor is an amazing testament to God's faithfulness to love, preserve and protect us.

Surrendered people understand this. They wake up grateful to the Lord for the unwarranted gifts of life and breath, they walk to the shower thankful that their legs still work "well enough" and they breathe out praise for the good gifts of hot water and soap. Gratitude informs their daily routines, even the repetitive and monotonous ones. Rightly considered, it is an unmerited blessing to be physically and mentally able to clean dishes, return phone calls, shop for food, empty the trash and so forth. (As I write that last sentence, I can think of several individuals who would rejoice at the ability to accomplish these mundane tasks.)

But head knowledge and heart attitude, as they say, are two very different things.

Lately, though I am 100% clear in my mind that I deserve neither life nor breath, I have nevertheless found my heart "going down to the River Jabbok " (Genesis 32:22-32) yet again, wrestling with God over something as petty as my ability to live my life according to my schedule, with nothing in the way of interruptions or "rabbit trails," thank you very much. In short, I have been dismayed to find that God is not limiting His influence in my life to the neat sections of time that I have set aside for Him to do with as He pleases; He is now gently asking to be the Lord of how and where I spend my time...all the time.

My previous wrestling matches with God have been over such "big-ticket items" as alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual licentiousness, money, difficult relationships and suitability for Christian service. I suppose it might be considered evidence of sanctification in my life that I now find myself at odds with the Lord over something as "small" as my weekly schedule. Some might even consider this "battle" to be ridiculous, even laughable. "You know that God owns every second of your time here on Earth, and yet you want to bicker with Him because He does not seem to acknowledge what you've set up in your daily planner?"

Yet, as silly as this contradiction seems, I also notice that I am not alone in the battle. Close at hand, I see my wife trying as best she can to juggle an astonishing array of time commitments, but I also see plenty of other people who "struggle to appreciate" those seemingly-random interruptions of their plans. As 21st-century Americans, we take so much for granted that we just blithely assume that our plans will go forth unhindered...yet nothing like that ever appears within the pages of Scripture. Quite the opposite, in fact; God seems to regularly break into the plans of His people, testing their faithfulness to choose between His plans and their own. I'm not sure, but I would bet that I have quite often missed an opportunity to be a blessing to someone because I was late for a meeting at church.

It is precisely at this point that I find myself living in deep envy of King David, who had such a close, intimate relationship with the Lord that he was able - at least most of the time - to surrender everything to God's good plans for the nation of Israel. In particular, I find myself desiring more than anything to have the clarity and specificity of instruction that David regularly received from God. The key, of course, lies in the ongoing willingness of David to "inquire" of the Lord before he made most of his decisions.

1 Chronicles 14:8-17 (ESV)
Philistines Defeated

When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over all Israel, all the Philistines went up to search for David. But David heard of it and went out against them. Now the Philistines had come and made a raid in the Valley of Rephaim. And David inquired of God, "Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand?" And the Lord said to him, "Go up, and I will give them into your hand." And he went up to Baal-perazim, and David struck them down there. And David said, "God has broken through my enemies by my hand, like a bursting flood." Therefore the name of that place is called Baal-perazim. And they left their gods there, and David gave command, and they were burned.

And the Philistines yet again made a raid in the valley. And when David again inquired of God, God said to him, "You shall not go up after them; go around and come against them opposite the balsam trees. And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then go out to battle, for God has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines." And David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army from Gibeon to Gezer. And the fame of David went out into all lands, and the Lord brought the fear of him upon all nations.

Wouldn't it be amazing if we all were able to receive specific instructions like this directly from God? Well...perhaps we are, if we will simply develop the habits of paying attention and prayerfully making inquiry.

This past weekend, for example, I had several plans "wrecked" by the Lord. I had to leave work early on Friday to serve someone in great need; I left in such haste that I forgot to pack the power cord for my laptop. Saturday brought a few surprises as well, items that I had not planned on dealing with that had to be dealt with immediately (or so I thought). Sunday morning, instead of stuffing my face with donut holes and Diet Dr Pepper, I spent first service driving an injured friend to the emergency room. By the time I sat down in "my" seat for second service, I was already in a heightened state of, "For crying out loud, what's going to happen next, Lord?" And this all took place before our good friend Gary Long passed out and brought yesterday's sermon to a crashing halt.

So I had not planned to spend Sunday evening at Boone Hospital. Neither had I planned to be checking a friend into rehab that very same day. It goes without saying that I am exceedingly grateful to God that our friend Gary is doing fine and expected to make a full recovery. I welcomed the opportunity to tease him about "ruining the offering" during second service and was glad to have him poke fun at me in return. God is on the move all around us, He has graciously given me eyes to see it, and slowly - ever so slowly - my white-knuckle grip on the way I spend my time is relaxing somewhat into trusting God that He is good, His plans are always better than mine and His graciousness runs so deep that it is His mercy that I am ever permitted to make plans for my life in the first place.

Normally, a weekend like this one just past would have sent me into a state of anxiety, mild panic and confusion. The desire to manipulate and control is so tightly threaded into my heart that unforeseen events and circumstances can begin to cause my heart to rise up in fear (and even rebellion). As of July 2012, I am still learning to surrender my time to the Lord, but as I meditate on David's intimate relationship with God and the strength of his life, I find that simply inquiring of the Lord restores both order and purpose to the messiest of schedules.

"Shall I go up?" is a simple, four-word prayer that we can offer to God when he has the "audacity" to ignore our plans and instead choose to use us to move His Kingdom forward. Presented with a break in our plans and an opportunity to exhibit trust and faithfulness, may we always seek His wisdom as the rollercoaster of life bends and twists in ways that we do not at once appreciate.

Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

John 15:1-5
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

James 4:13-17
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit" - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

Habakkuk 1:5
"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told."

Job 38:1-5, 40:1-2
Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you will make it known to me. Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements - surely you know!" ... And the Lord said to Job, "Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it."

Songs and Scenes from Sunday, July 15, 2012

This week's Songs and Scenes review features photos graciously provided by Scott Myers. You'll find links in the song titles to help you purchase recorded versions of the songs when available.

O Come Let Us Adore Him - Traditional (Adeste Fideles)

O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

Behold Our God by Jonathan Baird, Meghan Baird and Stephen Altrogge

Who has held the oceans in His hands?
Who has numbered every grain of sand?
Kings and nations tremble at His voice.
All creation rises to rejoice.

Behold our God, seated on His throne.
Come, let us adore Him.
Behold our King—nothing can compare.
come, let us adore Him

One God by Cam Huxford

We introduced "One God," a new song (which we will revisit in two weeks) from Mars Hill in Seattle, WA. The song invites us to turn away from our counterfeit gods and worship the one, true, living God. Songwriter Cam Huxford shares his thoughts on the song.

"One thing that I have seen throughout my life is that God is faithful to crush our idols. He can do that because he is simply bigger and more powerful than all of the other things that we might choose to worship. The song “One God” was written out of the continual experience of seeing a big God rule over everything else."

Prophets proclaimed to our fathers long ago
to turn from your statues and your idols made of gold.

"Rise from your knees, stop worshiping
The splinters of broken gods, turn and see your King.

There is one God over all kings and rulers
and He reigns alone.

We read the first of God's ten commandments from Exodus 20.

I am the Lord your God… You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them.

Our call to confession was influenced by Tim Keller's book, Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters. Keller defines idolatry as...

"…anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give."

We spent some time in silent confession asking God to him to remove the idols of our hearts and satisfy our deepest needs and hopes with His all He is for us in Jesus Christ.

Kristen read from Isaiah 55:1-2.

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

Satisfied - Words: Clara T. Williams (1875), Music: Karl Digerness (1997), Arrangement: The Crossing Music

All my life long I had panted
for a drink from some cool spring
that I hoped would quench the burning
of the thirst I felt within.

Hallelujah! He has found me,
the One my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my longings,
through his blood I now am saved.

Corporate Prayer: St. Patrick's Breastplate

I bind unto myself today by power of faith
Christ’s incarnation, death and resurrection.

Protect me, Christ, until your returning.

Christ with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger.

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

In Christ Alone by Stuart Townend and Keith Getty, Arrangement by King's Kaleidoscope

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

Medley: Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) - Words by John Newton (1779), Music by Virginia Harmony (1831), Arrangement and contemporary chorus by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind but now I see.

My chains are gone, I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood his mercy reigns
amazing love, amazing grace.

Medley: Grace That is Greater - Words by Julia H. Johnston, Music by Daniel B. Towner (1910)

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
grace that is greater than all our sin.

Music and Tech Team for Sunday, July 15, 2012:

Lacey Burrell - vocals
Andrew Camp - acoustic guitar, electric guitar, vocals
Kristen Camp - vocals
Rhett Johnson - electric guitar
Scott Johnson - piano, synth, vocals
Andrew Luley - drums
Ryan Ponder - bass
Benedict Sin - violin
Alison Tatum - violin

Chris Halsey - light board operator
Barrett Knox - tech assistant
Darin Nichols - music media
Gerik Parmele - media director
Ryan Stoll - camera operator
Chantel Wandel - sermon media
Jake Wandel - production manager
Tim Worstell - Front of house audio

A Vote of No Confidence

According to a recent Gallup poll, Americans are losing confidence in the church. Since the 1970’s, Americans have shown a steady decline in their trust of organized religion. Now just 44% of us have “a great deal or a lot of confidence” in “the church or organized religion”.

The poll does demonstrate a rather consistent response from Americans regarding the importance of religion in their lives. You might also find it interesting there is a sharp disparity between the trust exhibited toward protestant churches vs. catholic churches, the former holding a rather significant lead over the latter regarding the trust of its’ adherents.

I’m not sure there is a lot we can gather from this poll other than the confirmation of what most assume is a growing lack of interest in the institution of the church. There is an overarching feeling that religion is being replaced with a privatized cocktail of spirituality. William Farley, in his book Gospel Powered Parenting, identifies this shift with the phrase Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. He proposes recent generations are combining a “works-righteousness, religion as psychological well-being, and a distant, non interfering deity” to supplant the conventional place of religion and the church in modern society.

There are two ways to view such a vote of no confidence. The first is the natural response of those who still hold the institution of the church in high regard; “this is one more sign of the times, society is going to hell in a hand-basket and we are getting a front seat for the show”. The likely more atypical approach would be to evaluate this as failing grade for organized religion and to honestly assess the etiology of such a lack of interest. If the culture considers church to simply be the place where the self-righteous go to feel better about themselves, we must seek to honestly determine if they are right.

It should not be lost on us that the protestant reformation was fueled by a similar distrust and lack of confidence in organized religion. Albeit the argument can be made the opposition was led by a more accurate theological proposition, the foundational level of dissatisfaction holds some similarities. i.e., abuse of power, political influence, the love of money, etc.

Scripture clearly lays out the role of the church in the nurturing of the fellowship of the believers, but also in the greater context of the serving of the community as a whole. We have a choice to either dismiss the widening gap of distrust by our community as “their problem” or we could honestly assess our culpability in failing to mirror the original purpose of the church as defined by God’s Word.

I Wouldn't Trade This Week

Jesus said that it's more blessed to give than receive. I'm pretty sure that explains why going on a mission trip to the impoverished interior of Jamaica in which you do more physical labor than you do the rest of the entire year, sweat 24 hours a day, and go without any kind of modern conveniences, is for many people the best week of their year.

For the past three summers I've had a chance to join others from The Crossing on a one week missions trip to Harmons, Jamaica. One of the unique things about the trip is that it's designed for high school students and at least one of their parents. It's hard to put into words what it means to work alongside your teenager serving other people. Pretty cool.

Anyway I thought that I'd share a few things that we did and throw in a few pics.

Diana's House Dedication

The team built two houses (a house is a 12 x 15 room with two doors and two windows) and two foundations that a following team will build houses on later in the summer. In this picture you can see Diana and her 9 year old daughter Chevanaise (I probably misspelled that but you'll never know).

When Diana found out that she was pregnant she applied to Won by One for a house. Because she lives outside of the typical zone that the ministry works in, it didn't look like Diana's house would ever be built. But she persisted in praying to God and talking to the ministry leaders. Nine years later our team got to be the answer to her prayers. This picture is of the house dedication in which we gave her a Bible, prayed for her, and handed her the keys. Diana read a thank you note to the team she'd written the night before. Pretty moving.

In the middle of the week we take a break from physical labor and head over to the infirmary. Each of Jamaica's 14 counties has a state sponsored "poor house" for the old, sick, disabled, and mentally handicapped. It's a place that's hard to describe. It is incredibly sad and yet there are pockets of hope. Most people in the infirmary end up there when their family deems them to difficult or too expensive to support. The conditions are dirty, disgusting, deplorable. Often the Americans teams are the only people that visit. Whatever hope is present is due to what appears to be, on the behalf of some, a genuine faith in Christ.

Madeline at the infirmary

We spend time talking to the people, playing dominoes with those who can, reading Scripture, and just taking an interest in them. Last year one bed ridden woman told my wife that she listens for the sound of airplanes. That sounded a bit odd because I don't think that I heard an airplane the entire week I was there. Christine asked her why she listened for them and the woman answered, "When I hear a plane, I pray and hope that it might be one of you coming to visit with me." The picture is of my daughter and a couple of men at the infirmary.

One of the things that's hard to capture in a blog post but made this trip enjoyable for me is the interaction with the Jamaicans. I feel like I'm starting to get to a better relationship with some of them. They know that I care about them and I think the feeling is mutual. One night each week our team divides up and goes into the community to eat dinner in the house of a Jamaican family. There's something special that happens on a personal level when you sit in another person's house and share a meal.

Everyone that's gone to Harmons learns that each of us has a "Harmons" in our own backyard. You don't have to travel to serve the poor, needy, hurting, and marginalized. But sometimes God takes us to far away places in order to open our eyes to what's right around us.

A God Particle?

You’re probably just now coming off a spontaneous and rousing celebration sparked by the apparent discovery of the elusive “God particle.” 

Okay, maybe not. But the particle, more formally known as the Higgs boson, is an important scientific discovery that has been in the news of late. And there’s got to be an unwritten rule that requires a blog like this to address something with that kind of nickname.

A British physicist named Peter Higgs initially proposed the existence of the particle in question in the 1960’s as a way of explaining why some particles have mass. And according to physics professor Michio Kaku, recent experiments conducted at the Large Hadron Collider, a 27 mile long machine that smashes protons together nearly at the speed of light, now allow scientists a 99.9999% degree of certainty that the Higgs boson in fact exists. 

Cosmic Log offers an analogy from physicist David Miller to explain how the Higgs boson works:

Imagine looking down from a balcony in a ballroom, watching a cocktail party below. When just plain folks try to go from one end of the room to the other, they can walk through easily, with no resistance from the party crowd. But when a celebrity like Justin Bieber shows up, other partygoers press around him so tightly that he can hardly move ... and once he moves, the crowd moves with him in such a way that the whole group is harder to stop.

The partygoers are like Higgs bosons, the just plain folks are like massless particles, and Bieber is like a massive Z boson.

Interestingly, the Higgs boson apparently owes its nickname to another physicist, Leon Lederman, who wrote the following in his 1993 book, The God Particle:

This boson is so central to the state of physics today, so crucial to our final understanding of the structure of matter, yet to elusive, that I have given it a nickname: The God Particle. Why God Particle? Two reasons. One, the publisher wouldn’t let us call it the [G--d---] Particle, though that might be a more appropriate title, given its villainous nature and the expense it is causing. And two, there is a connection, of sorts, to another book, a much older one…

According to Sarah Pulliam Bailey, Lederman then “writes about the story of the Tower of Babel and the ‘curious intellectual stress’ it illustrates.”

Even so, Kaku notes why the nickname could be seen in another light as he explains, at least in part, the larger significance of the Higgs boson:

The press has dubbed the Higgs boson the "God particle," a nickname that makes many physicists cringe. But there is some logic to it. According to the Bible, God set the universe into motion as he proclaimed "Let there be light!" In physics, the universe started off with a cosmic explosion, the Big Bang, 13.7 billion years ago, which sent the stars and galaxies hurtling in all directions. But the key question is left unanswered: Why did it bang? The big-bang theory says nothing about how and why it banged in the first place. 

To put it another way, what was the match that set off the initial cosmic explosion? What put the "bang" in the Big Bang? In quantum physics, it was a Higgs-like particle that sparked the cosmic explosion. In other words, everything we see around us, including galaxies, stars, planets and us, owes its existence to the Higgs boson.

All that said, what should Christians think about all this? Does the existence of a God particle make God himself superfluous to the creation of the universe? Joe Carter sums up nicely:

Because of the misleading nickname and the connection to the Big Bang, some people might assume that the Higgs boson has theological---or atheological---implications. It does not. The confirmation of the existence of the Higgs boson may illuminate physics but it doesn't shed any light on metaphysics.

While the Higgs boson may help explain the mechanics of the Big Bang, it doesn’t explain the universe’s existence in the first place. Nor can it account for its own. In other words, in answer to the question, “Why did the universe go bang?” one might well say: “the Higgs boson.” But that immediately gives rise to yet another question: why is there such a thing as Higgs boson or, for that matter, a universe to begin with? 

With this in mind, it seems appropriate to understand the Higgs boson as providing another piece to the wondrous puzzle of how God brought about and structured his creation. For that reason, “God particle” might not be such a bad nickname after all.